We all have moments of awkwardness in social situations. When I was young, I was worried if what I was wearing would be appropriate. I agonized over it. To add to my worries, I was afraid I may say the wrong thing or appear stupid. I did not want to eat in front of people for fear I would have something in my teeth when I smiled. Little by little I have become comfortable in my own skin, which makes me comfortable around others.
Whatever I wear is now appropriate, even if it isn’t. I do have a better sense of what to wear, having been to hundreds of events over the years. I also find that if I act like I am wearing the right thing, I will look like I am wearing the right thing. I don’t worry about what to say anymore. I have a repertoire of stories. I also know that people are more worried about how they sound than about how I sound. If I have something in my teeth, so be it. I won’t be the first and I won’t be the last. It is none of my business what people think of me.
Sometimes I feel invisible. This killed me when I was young but today it doesn’t bother me. When I shine a light on your face, so you can have the spotlight, it is hard for you to see me. Being invisible means I can observe without being observed. It’s fun and can be quite entertaining.
Being social takes practice. Over the years it has gotten easier and easier since I have done it more and more often. If I do hibernate all winter, and don’t start seeing others until spring, the first event can feel a bit uncomfortable, but today I am no longer awkward, I am a social being.